Where it's at?

You know, it's almost 2006. It appears that this computer age isn't going away anytime soon. So ya think someone could get around to inventing a keyboard with a button dedicated to the 'at' symbol? You know, the @ in the middle of everybody's e-mail. I am getting tired of the shift-2 move. This symbol, called the 'commercial at' or an 'amphora' needs it's own key. Any time now...

Hey, its another poem. Not a great one, but its inspired by a true story.

Shortwave

Fed up with the silent indifference,
I scan the airwaves for a sign.
Seeking out signals, I know
there is something in the air.

Do you have a frequency?
and how can I turn you on?
Give me something to tune in,
maybe just a short wave.


.

Well, its Thanksgiving here in the States. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I am blessed to have enough to eat and lots of family around to spend the day with. And while I have more than my share of my blessings to tell you about, I am only going to say I am thankful for the holiday itself. A whole day dedicated to reflecting on the good things you have. And luckily, the holiday is largly un-corrupted by commercialism and annoying cartoons. Ya got that Charlie Brown one, but that's a good one.

The only bad thing about Thanksgiving is it signals the unleashing of the Christmas juggernaut. Granted there is the glorious aspect of the birth of my Lord which I celebrate, but there is so much the rest of the world is throwing at everyone, it makes it tough for me to get fully excited. But that is a blog for another time.

I guess if I have a point for all this, it is that I'd hope if you celebrate thanksgiving, you'd remember the real point of it. It is much more than a levee that holds back the enivitable flood of Christmas jingles and commercials.

The Liquor License

I’ve been thinking a bit about the liquor consumption here in Utah, and I had two thoughts.

The first is the vilifying of people who smoke and drink in Utah. I know quite a few Mormons who do this. Not cool. Mormons such as myself of course are instructed by our church leaders to refrain from coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco and harmful drugs. We call it the “Word of Wisdom”. But sometimes we Mormons forget that while we believe it is an inspired teaching, it also is only given to the members of the LDS church. The world at large, while it would certainly greatly benefit from restraining from those things, is under no religious obligation to follow this health code. I feel we Mormons shouldn’t view someone who isn’t of our faith as a ‘vile sinner’ just because they don’t adhere to the same teachings we follow. My Jewish friends don’t get on my case if I have a BLT around them. They know that the kosher standard doesn’t apply to me because I am not Jewish.

My second thought is that I think the whole legal system controlling the sale of alcohol in the US is backwards. If the government wants to keep alcohol as a controlled substance, then it should make extra safeguards on its purchase. Restaurants and stores are required by the government to carry Liquor Licenses to be able to sell the stuff. This is fine, but I feel that those who need to have the liquor license are the consumer. If the consumer wishes to purchase and consume an alcoholic beverage, then they would need a special license to do it. This would be shown at the time of purchase, whether it be at an Appleby’s or a Circle-K. If the consumer hasn’t applied for a license, then no sale. The minimum age for such a license would be 18 years old. If a minor is caught drinking before this, a hold of 6 months could be placed on their acquiring their own license. It should also be part of the program for law enforcement officers to check for the license of those they feel might be in violation of the program, in a similar fashion to a game warden has the right to check fishing and hunting licenses and impose fines if necessary.

The license could also be tied to driving privileges. If the consumer is caught driving while under the influence, their liquor license would be suspended for 6 months or an appropriate time. Further DWI’s could bring more severe penalties. If a serious crime is committed while under the influence of alcohol, then the license could be revoked permanently.

Call your local congressman. If our states and country want to make alcohol a controlled substance, then they need to be serious about and do it right. This is one idea.

Pun of the post: "So we blew all of our money on the limousine rental and now, what do we have to chauffer it?"

Lately I am a-political. As Mormons, we believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say we follow the admonition of Paul - We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

I sadly, don't see really any of these qualities in many of our elected officials. And I certainly don't see so that is much virtuous or praiseworthy in my friends who are extremely politically active. As for me, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. First and foremost. All too often, I see well-intentioned Saints putting political ideology ahead of the doctrines of the Gospel. If the party you espouse has similarities to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, it is because that party is imitating the Gospel, not because your party has a monopoly on the Gospel. Be careful you aren't confusing a necessary evil for the actual message of peace.

Dear Prudence,

Good morning, good morning! Good day sunshine, here comes the sun and I feel fine. I am the walrus and this is my pet Rocky raccoon. I was back in the USSR, about the time of revolution #9, where this boy spent many a hard day’s night on a yellow submarine, under Sgt. Pepper, until I got my ticket to ride.

There is a place where I live near Abbey Road and Penny Lane (the one after 909), where I’m a paperback writer for mean old Mr. Mustard. It sounds like junk but it is a beginning. I was in my octopus’s garden fixing a hole with Maxwell’s silver hammer, because I’m a day tripper, and if I fell, I’m down.

The night before yesterday was my birthday, and lovely Rita, she came in through the bathroom window but I saw her standing there. Ain’t she sweet, and I love her. We can have a taste of honey savoy truffle wild honey pie when I’m sixty-four, and I’m happy just to dance with you to rock and roll music, and I’d dig a pony; but on this birthday, money, that’s what I want. You never give me your money, so I can’t buy me love. Instead, dizzy miss Lizzie gives me a matchbox. Inside was an old brown shoe with a rubber soul. “For you blue from me to you, come and get it”, she said. I said, “Thank you girl. I thought it was for no one”. Oh darling, you can’t do that so honey don’t. I don’t want to spoil the party but hello goodbye. She said, “I want you, I need you”, and other words of love. “Love love me do and please please me”, she said. She said, “We can work it out so slow down what you are doing. Don’t pass me by”. But I should have known better. She said, “Hey Bulldog, you’re gonna lose that girl. She loves you. It would help if you would hold me tight. You really got a hold on me. I’ll get you got to get you into my life”. It’s only love and I guess I’m a loser. Girl, you know my name, look up the number. When I call your name, you’ve got to hide your love away. I’ll get by within you without you. If I needed someone to step inside love, you know what to do.

I’ll follow the sun, because I am the sun king. All I’ve got to do is drive my car down the long and winding road to Kansas City where a blackbird took me to a lady Madonna concert. It was her magical mystery tour with the Bad Boys, being for the benefit of Mr. Kite. That was nowhere, man! After I gave Eleanor Rigby all my loving, so roll over Beethoven! Boys, she’s a woman with a devil in her. I’ve got a feeling the two of us will find real love.

I think I will have to walk through the strawberry fields forever in the rain when…wait, I’ve just seen a face. It is the fool on the hill in the middle of the Norwegian wood. “Hey Jude, do you want to know a secret?” I said, “Oh, baby it’s you. Hello little girl. Think for yourself, Michelle. You like me too much. Too bad I don’t love you too”. She said, “I want to tell you Ob-la-di Ob-la-da is the word, yes it is! Tell me what you see”. “I’m looking through you”, I said. “You won’t see me because baby’s in black. Ask me why”. “Tell me why!” I demanded. No reply. I said, “Don’t bother me little child, I was getting better ‘till there was you”. That was something, the things we said today. It seems like everybody’s trying to be my baby, especially Her Majesty.

I’m so tired. I’ll get you a teddy boy. Soon I’m only sleeping golden slumbers like dreamers do. Goodnight! I dreamt what goes on in a glass onion. We played games and the last of the piggies would cry baby cry.

Now I want to get back, but I’ve come too far across the universe for that. I’ve looked here, there and everywhere for Lucy in the sky with diamonds, but she’s leaving home. I’ll cry instead, while my guitar gently weeps. It won’t be long, with a little help from my friends.

So, if you see that blackbird for not a second time, let it be free as a bird. Pay the taxman and carry that weight. When a day in the life of every little thing seems helter-skelter, don’t twist and shout or run for your life; remember all things must pass, that they will come together in the end in spite of all the danger, so bear the chains of misery. In my life, happiness is a warm gun. All you need is love. Baby, you’re a rich man and your bird can sing. Julia, I wanna hold your hand because I want to be your man. I’ll be back so don’t let me down.

P.S., I love you.

This is a greatly expanded version that I put together based on a concept by Whimsical Will.

Are you taking yourself seriously? Well, stop it. I know you and you aren't that cool. So tell yourself your best jokes and pretend you are hilarious. Besides, as the Nibley once said, "If you take yourself seriously, you will never take the Gospel seriously, and the other way around".

A quote from Brigham Young:
"I want to tell you, each and every one of you, that you are well acquainted with God, our Heavenly Father...You are well acquainted with him, for there is not a soul of you but what has lived in his house and dwelt with him year after year; and yet you are seeking to become acquainted with him, when the fact is, you have merely forgotten what you did know".

Bad pun of the post:
"One time I made a spud pun so bad that Mr. Potato Head rolled over in his gravy".

Allrighty then... I haven't posted anything in a few days, so here's a sappy poem I wrote for a girlfriend, but that was a long time ago. Sorry about the mush.

The Best Thing

Being barefoot on the lawn
is what is going on,
and a swing on a tire
will always inspire.
Giving you roses, striking brave poses,
butterflies tickle our noses.
Silly geese of a feather,
when we are together
it’s the best thing ever ever.

A race on a sled
will turn your cheeks red.
Snowflakes on your tongue
will help keep you young.
Angels in the snow, a sip of cocoa,
always laughing as we go.
If you don’t mind the weather
and join this endeavor,
you’ll find the best thing ever ever.

I don’t quite understand
why you like holding my hand
but there’s nothing I’d rather do
than go meander with you
Stealing a glance, taking a chance,
sneaking out of the dance
I will never say never
and if you said 'Forever',
it would be the best thing ever ever.