New Quiz

Actually, it's just a glimpse to the many songs that have been stuck in my head this last week. Can you match the lyrics to the song?

I used to think as birds take wing, They sing through life so why can't we?

understand the New York Times' effect on man.

O no, what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle

say goodbye to Ross and his dependencies

like Olympus above the Serengeti

Never gonna let it up
Ticking like a time bomb
Blowing up the fuse box

A brave man once requested me to answer questions that are key is it to be or not to be and I replied 'oh why ask me?'

If I could only find a nickel I would pay myself off tonight
'Cause nobody knows when the good times have passed out cold

Ue o muite arukoo
Namida ga kobore nai yoo ni

You give away everything now that you've hid
You, you want to be only to never get lonely

Here's a funny bit about the music scenes original "one-hit-wonder". That's comedian Rob Paravonian behind the guitar.

The Yellowcard Blues

Today I hate the band Yellowcard. Nothing against them personally, it is just that I work on a college campus and the band is performing in the courtyard adjacent to my building. They have been warming up all afternoon and I'm just a little sick of the noise.

Who figured on Action Figures?

I was looking in the Toys R Us for a cool birthday gift for my niece. There, I noticed more than a few action figures of old Rock Stars. Ozzy Oxbourne, Metallica, Kiss, all of these masters of metal have received the plastic treatment. Meaning that there are action figures made of them. Clear? They even had Beatles figures.

But it got me thinking, why limit it to just the gods of rock or the Fab Four? Doesn't David "Diamond Dave" Lee Roth deserve his own figure? What little straight-edge kid wouldn't love a Moby figure to go kick the butt of an Eminem figure? Think of how much fun Loretta Lynn and Kenny Rogers could have in Barbie's Malibu Corvette? Doesn't Lucinda Williams and Beck need to hang out in the backyard? I definitely think this needs to be done. Imagine little Timmy Jacobsen climbing down stairs early Christmas morning and finding St. Nick had just left him west coast rap innovators Blackalicious in his stocking. Who wouldn't love that?

Maybe I just answered my own question.

Still, I think it would be cool to have someone come into my office and ask about the figures on my desk and I could say, "Oh, it's Tommy James and the Shondells". But maybe that's just me.

Rock Swings!

Fellow Gen-X’ers, I have seen the future. I was driving with a few folks I work with to a company party, and we were rocking out. Both the folks I was driving with were in their mid-fifties and had been raised on what we would call Oldies. Those cool classic songs of the 50’s and 60’s. So we were listening to these Oldies, yet they weren’t the original oldies, they were re-makes by the original artists. I guess it was cheaper to drag the Tokens and Freddie “Boom Boom” Cannon into the studio than to clear the rights to the original songs. As we were driving, they commented how much they were enjoying the re-makes. These new versions were a bit lighter than they used to be. Some of them even had a new bit of orchestration. There was a kind of nice, ‘schmaltzy’ feeling about them. That’s when it all came together for me. These nice folks I was driving with had entered into a new era of entertainment, that of the watered down music. This is no doubt the same phase that their parents entered into a generation ago with the Lawrence Welk television program. It is the same phenomenon.

So here is the future, in another 30 years as us Gen-X’ers are entering our 60’s and 70’s, we will be able turn on Carson Daily on the telly and his band of swinging crooners will entertain us with softer, kinder, gentler songs by the White Stripes, Greenday, Snoop Dog, and maybe some Nirvana. The sky is the limit.

If you want a glimpse into the future, check out either Pat Boone’s album In A Metal Mood and especially Paul Anka’s Rock Swing album. Both are great, with covers of alternative and metal classics done in a softer ‘easy to swallow’ style. Enjoy the future. I can’t wait to hear it.


Since the topic of musical covers has come up, I’ll remind myself here to devote a future blog to it.

The Essentials of 2005

For some reason, it seems like a good idea to let ya have a sneak peak into what I have been listening to this year. My musical tastes center on some alternative, rockabilly, children/comedy or anything that is just annoying to those who enjoy most pop-alternative stuff or whatever garbage they are playing on the radio. So I enjoy clever or annoying remixes and covers of songs that are popular with the kids. Turn a song on it's head and I'll likely love it. Anyhoo, here is the list of what I have been listening to for most of 2005 and into 2006. So here's the Top 25 in practically no particular order. And you could download some of them on your own.

1. Boulevard of Broken Songs - Party Ben
This song is what we in the biz call a mash-up. A (hopefully) skilled dj will edit a few songs together into one killer remix. With this song, imagine that one song is a deck of cards. The brilliant dj Party Ben took 20 cards from Greenday's Boulevard of Broken Dreams, 16 cards from Oasis's Wonderwall, 10 cards from Travis's Writing to Reach You and another 6 from Aerosmith's Dream On and shuffled them seamlessly.

2. All the Way to Reno - REM
Ah, Reno. This song is my happy affirmation song, kind of what Smashmouth's All-Star was before radio and the movies played it to death.

3. Mad World (SNES version) - cover by some guy named Gxp
For a while I had Gary Jules' cover of Mad World (originaly by Tears for Fears) on my top 25 list, until I found this version. I stumbled across a site that was hosting covers of rock songs that had been made with a program for the SuperNintendo. So here this is. Don't ask.

4. A Higher Place - Tom Petty
Tom Petty is always in the musical hopper, and this tasty nugget from his "Wildflower" album makes me pull out the dreaded air-guitar everytime.

5. Cheer Down - Traveling Wilburys
An unreleased Wilbury's song from a Czech bootleg.

6. Burro - Beck
The best part of this song? It is an alternate version of Beck's song Jackass, only it is done in a mariache style. And in Spanish. How cool is that?

7. Welcome to the Jungle - Big Daddy
Big Daddy claimed to have been captured on a USO tour in Laos in 1959. When they got back, all the music they knew how to play was in the classic style of the 1950's. So naturally, when they covered Guns N' Roses' Welcome to the Jungle, it came out with the style and instrumentation of the Tokens' The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Wimoweh.

8. Original Sin - INXS
Dream on, white boy!

9. Calling All Girls - Queen
Freddy Mercury delivers some great vocals on this song from their "Hot Space" album.

10. Hit That - The Offspring
Not much to say here, but I like the crunch of the guitar in this song. I think these 'pseudo hard rockers' do pretty well.

11. The Superman Song - Slugworks
Ok, this is one that I made myself. While I made the mistake of listening to commercial radio, I noticed one day that there about a billion songs on the radio about that supernatural being that we can call upon for help in dire straits. I refer, of course, to Superman. So, I dug around in the archives, bought a bunch of tunes off of itunes and made a song from parts of 30 different songs. It sounds like a mess, but it turned out to be pretty cool.

12. If You Wanna Be Happy For The Rest Of Your Life - Jimmy Soul
You have got to love the audacity of this song. "Get an ugly woman to marry you". Wow!

13. Tears of a Clown - Smokey Robinson
What can I say except this reminds me of an old girlfriend.

14. Lisa's Wedding - Alf Clausen and Danny Elfman
A beautiful baroque arrangement. If you know what this song is, then no more commentary is needed.

15. Everything I've Got in My Pocket - Minnie Driver
I saw Minnie perform this song on Letterman and it blew my socks off. She is one pretty lady.

16. Love is All Around - The Troggs
A psychadellic love song from the 60's.

17. Be Near Me - ABC
It's funny. This is one of my favorite songs, but the song Smokey Sings by the same band is on my all-time hate list. How does that work? And somehow, this song reminds me of Close Encounters.

18. Try Not To Breathe - REM
While trying to document life's rich pageant, I reveal that I am up for new adventures in hi-fi. At least until I run out of time; when, according to the fables of the reconstruction, a great reckoning occurs when that green monster murmurs from around the sun. But that's beside the point. I like the stoicism in this song. And it is in my vocal range.

19. Theme from the Rockford Files - Mike Post
A great TV theme song from the 70's without any of that pesky disco. The harmonica work on this one is amazing.

20. (Beware of) The Blob - The 5 Blobs (including Burt Bacharach)
This classic from the late 50's is my favorite movie theme. It has everything in there from the late 50's that made rock cool, from the stuttering saxaphone to the 'finger-popping' made famous in the Lollipop song.

21. Mah Na Mah Na - Piero Umiliani
You all know the famous cover. This is the 1969 Swedish original that started it all. This version has a touch of Lounge that isn't picked up in the Muppet version.

22. Europa and Io - Finngerhutt
This spacey (not Kevin Spacey) trance/instrumental was written and performed by my good pal Justin McBride. This is also a great song to slow-dance with the ladies to. I kindsa likes it.

23. The Black Hole - John Barry
A great fully-orchestrated movie theme that is also just unsettling.

24. Binary Sunset - The Evil Genius Orchestra
This stirring theme from Star Wars is given a Lounge flavor. So soothing.

25. From the Earth to the Moon - Michael Kamen
Some years ago, Tom Hanks put together a mini-series about the Apollo space program. The theme song treats the listener with the triumph and grandeur of a flight through the reaches of space.

Bad Pun of the Post:

A friend of mine asked me if I knew the name of that famous Hunchback. I responded, "Does Quasimodo ring a bell?"

Dear Prudence,

Good morning, good morning! Good day sunshine, here comes the sun and I feel fine. I am the walrus and this is my pet Rocky raccoon. I was back in the USSR, about the time of revolution #9, where this boy spent many a hard day’s night on a yellow submarine, under Sgt. Pepper, until I got my ticket to ride.

There is a place where I live near Abbey Road and Penny Lane (the one after 909), where I’m a paperback writer for mean old Mr. Mustard. It sounds like junk but it is a beginning. I was in my octopus’s garden fixing a hole with Maxwell’s silver hammer, because I’m a day tripper, and if I fell, I’m down.

The night before yesterday was my birthday, and lovely Rita, she came in through the bathroom window but I saw her standing there. Ain’t she sweet, and I love her. We can have a taste of honey savoy truffle wild honey pie when I’m sixty-four, and I’m happy just to dance with you to rock and roll music, and I’d dig a pony; but on this birthday, money, that’s what I want. You never give me your money, so I can’t buy me love. Instead, dizzy miss Lizzie gives me a matchbox. Inside was an old brown shoe with a rubber soul. “For you blue from me to you, come and get it”, she said. I said, “Thank you girl. I thought it was for no one”. Oh darling, you can’t do that so honey don’t. I don’t want to spoil the party but hello goodbye. She said, “I want you, I need you”, and other words of love. “Love love me do and please please me”, she said. She said, “We can work it out so slow down what you are doing. Don’t pass me by”. But I should have known better. She said, “Hey Bulldog, you’re gonna lose that girl. She loves you. It would help if you would hold me tight. You really got a hold on me. I’ll get you got to get you into my life”. It’s only love and I guess I’m a loser. Girl, you know my name, look up the number. When I call your name, you’ve got to hide your love away. I’ll get by within you without you. If I needed someone to step inside love, you know what to do.

I’ll follow the sun, because I am the sun king. All I’ve got to do is drive my car down the long and winding road to Kansas City where a blackbird took me to a lady Madonna concert. It was her magical mystery tour with the Bad Boys, being for the benefit of Mr. Kite. That was nowhere, man! After I gave Eleanor Rigby all my loving, so roll over Beethoven! Boys, she’s a woman with a devil in her. I’ve got a feeling the two of us will find real love.

I think I will have to walk through the strawberry fields forever in the rain when…wait, I’ve just seen a face. It is the fool on the hill in the middle of the Norwegian wood. “Hey Jude, do you want to know a secret?” I said, “Oh, baby it’s you. Hello little girl. Think for yourself, Michelle. You like me too much. Too bad I don’t love you too”. She said, “I want to tell you Ob-la-di Ob-la-da is the word, yes it is! Tell me what you see”. “I’m looking through you”, I said. “You won’t see me because baby’s in black. Ask me why”. “Tell me why!” I demanded. No reply. I said, “Don’t bother me little child, I was getting better ‘till there was you”. That was something, the things we said today. It seems like everybody’s trying to be my baby, especially Her Majesty.

I’m so tired. I’ll get you a teddy boy. Soon I’m only sleeping golden slumbers like dreamers do. Goodnight! I dreamt what goes on in a glass onion. We played games and the last of the piggies would cry baby cry.

Now I want to get back, but I’ve come too far across the universe for that. I’ve looked here, there and everywhere for Lucy in the sky with diamonds, but she’s leaving home. I’ll cry instead, while my guitar gently weeps. It won’t be long, with a little help from my friends.

So, if you see that blackbird for not a second time, let it be free as a bird. Pay the taxman and carry that weight. When a day in the life of every little thing seems helter-skelter, don’t twist and shout or run for your life; remember all things must pass, that they will come together in the end in spite of all the danger, so bear the chains of misery. In my life, happiness is a warm gun. All you need is love. Baby, you’re a rich man and your bird can sing. Julia, I wanna hold your hand because I want to be your man. I’ll be back so don’t let me down.

P.S., I love you.

This is a greatly expanded version that I put together based on a concept by Whimsical Will.