In one of those yin-yang things, my brother and sister-in-law (Matt and Stephanie respectively) just had their second child. A feisty little boy named Miles. To make the situation fun, Miles wanted out early (a month early more precisely) while his dad is out at Air Force training until September. So things might be fun for those guys for a while. I'll help out where I can.
So congratulations to Matt, Stephanie, Zoe and Miles. I love all those kids.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Boomshine
I've been playing a fun little game on my lunch breaks called Boomshine. You have to plan a small explosion in the middle of a pastel bubble minefield and plan it so it starts a chain reaction to pop more. Its pretty cool.
Play Games at AddictingGames
I've been playing a fun little game on my lunch breaks called Boomshine. You have to plan a small explosion in the middle of a pastel bubble minefield and plan it so it starts a chain reaction to pop more. Its pretty cool.
Play Games at AddictingGames
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Old Money.
We all know that there are two kinds of millionaires, those of 'old money' and those who are 'new money'. And then there is me. I have old money. I was getting fuel at the gas station and as part of my change, I get this thing:
For some reason, this 1935 dollar bill had worked its way back into circulation and was waiting for me at the local Circle K. Then it got me wondering about all the stuff it would have seen. Was it used to by gasoline for some body's old Oldsmobile back in the 30's? Was it stashed away during a shortage of WWII? Did somebody find it in the attic in the 80's? Maybe it was a bookmark? It could have been any number of a thousand places.
I wonder if people are like this goofy, ragged bill? They may not look like much or look like they are worth much, but once you know their stories and histories, they become priceless.
Or maybe they are sometimes named Bill.
*Is it legal to scan old bills? If so, I'll take it down.
We all know that there are two kinds of millionaires, those of 'old money' and those who are 'new money'. And then there is me. I have old money. I was getting fuel at the gas station and as part of my change, I get this thing:
For some reason, this 1935 dollar bill had worked its way back into circulation and was waiting for me at the local Circle K. Then it got me wondering about all the stuff it would have seen. Was it used to by gasoline for some body's old Oldsmobile back in the 30's? Was it stashed away during a shortage of WWII? Did somebody find it in the attic in the 80's? Maybe it was a bookmark? It could have been any number of a thousand places.
I wonder if people are like this goofy, ragged bill? They may not look like much or look like they are worth much, but once you know their stories and histories, they become priceless.
Or maybe they are sometimes named Bill.
*Is it legal to scan old bills? If so, I'll take it down.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Okay, stop me if you've heard this one...
So this outspoken Atheist is hiking through the forest, admiring all the beauty that Mother Nature had evolved all around him. As he was hiking, he happened between a mother grizzly bear and her cubs. The protective mother instantly stood and roared at the hiker. Not wanting to shuffle off this mortal coil to wherever atheists go, the man took off running down the trail with the bear in hot pursuit. Realizing that he wasn't likely to evolve into something that ran faster, the atheist decided to hedge his bets and began to pray. Soon the bear had him knocked to the ground and had reared up on his hind legs, ready to deliver the lethal strike.
Suddenly, everything was frozen in place and the man found himself in God's presence. The atheist quickly asked God for deliverance from his problem.
"Well, this is certainly a convenient time for you to be a believer", was God's reply.
"I guess you are right," the atheist thought, "And I'm not really sure I believe in you any way."
God responded, "Since we are talking, are you sure that there isn't anything I can do for you? The bear is still there..."
The man thought about it for a minute and realized what he believed to be a rather clever solution.
"Perhaps then you could make the bear a Christian? I've known a lot of Christians and they have always talked about mercy and all that other religious junk."
God scratched his chin through his beard.
"All of my creations believe in me, but sure, I'll make the bear a devout Christian."
The brightness of God's presence began to fade and the man found himself again at the feet of the bear. The bear looked down at the man and helped him to his feet. The man breathed a sigh of relief. The bear looked lovingly at the man and pulled him in for a warm embrace. Holding the man, the bear spoke in a tender voice.
"Dear Lord, please bless this meal which my family is about to eat..."
So this outspoken Atheist is hiking through the forest, admiring all the beauty that Mother Nature had evolved all around him. As he was hiking, he happened between a mother grizzly bear and her cubs. The protective mother instantly stood and roared at the hiker. Not wanting to shuffle off this mortal coil to wherever atheists go, the man took off running down the trail with the bear in hot pursuit. Realizing that he wasn't likely to evolve into something that ran faster, the atheist decided to hedge his bets and began to pray. Soon the bear had him knocked to the ground and had reared up on his hind legs, ready to deliver the lethal strike.
Suddenly, everything was frozen in place and the man found himself in God's presence. The atheist quickly asked God for deliverance from his problem.
"Well, this is certainly a convenient time for you to be a believer", was God's reply.
"I guess you are right," the atheist thought, "And I'm not really sure I believe in you any way."
God responded, "Since we are talking, are you sure that there isn't anything I can do for you? The bear is still there..."
The man thought about it for a minute and realized what he believed to be a rather clever solution.
"Perhaps then you could make the bear a Christian? I've known a lot of Christians and they have always talked about mercy and all that other religious junk."
God scratched his chin through his beard.
"All of my creations believe in me, but sure, I'll make the bear a devout Christian."
The brightness of God's presence began to fade and the man found himself again at the feet of the bear. The bear looked down at the man and helped him to his feet. The man breathed a sigh of relief. The bear looked lovingly at the man and pulled him in for a warm embrace. Holding the man, the bear spoke in a tender voice.
"Dear Lord, please bless this meal which my family is about to eat..."
Monday, April 23, 2007
Bus Stop Runner
Well, since life has been kicking me in the hinder lately (everything from arguing with friends to girl trouble to having my clutch burn out on my car over the weekend to missing my bus twice this morning) I thought I'd seek a little comfort in musical mash-ups. So I found this sweet one called "Bus Stop Runner" by the talented Mark Vidler, aka Go Home Productions. djbrewski mixed the vid. GHP blended the tracks. Check it out.
EDIT: It seems they add new videos frequently, so you might have to scroll around to find what you are looking for. While you are doing that, check out Paperback Believer, Sweet Times of Mine, Feel All Apologies, Boulevard of Broken Songs and Crazy Logic. Man, I could watch those all day.
Well, since life has been kicking me in the hinder lately (everything from arguing with friends to girl trouble to having my clutch burn out on my car over the weekend to missing my bus twice this morning) I thought I'd seek a little comfort in musical mash-ups. So I found this sweet one called "Bus Stop Runner" by the talented Mark Vidler, aka Go Home Productions. djbrewski mixed the vid. GHP blended the tracks. Check it out.
EDIT: It seems they add new videos frequently, so you might have to scroll around to find what you are looking for. While you are doing that, check out Paperback Believer, Sweet Times of Mine, Feel All Apologies, Boulevard of Broken Songs and Crazy Logic. Man, I could watch those all day.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Sometimes I feel like a huge hypocrite. And that mostly comes out of me getting all preachy. Because invariably, I end up being guilty of the sins I'm preaching against. This is why I prefer to shut up about such moral items, but sometimes I can't help myself.
I used to carry a small sign in my scripture case that read "hypocrite". Back in the day when I taught a lot of lessons in the Sunday School, I'd be talking up the importance of keeping the Sabbath holy or always giving thanks for your meals, I'd pull out the sign and wear it around my neck before continuing. Granted, it was mostly a joke, but it also felt good to realize I was a mortal and as human as everyone else. After a while, others would borrow the sign if they were making comments on things they were struggling to improve themselves.
This brings us to this year. One of my favorite moral vices to rail against has been TV addiction. And I suddenly get hooked on the show 'Heroes'. I've also taken a stand against video games as addictive and time consuming, and here I am totally addicted to 'Guitar Hero'.
So I'm wondering what the lesson that needs to be learned here. The easy lesson is to keep my mouth shut; but I don't believe that is the right answer. Moderation, I think, is the right one. My big reason for video game avoidance is I've known folks who spend all their time in the basement playing Halo 2 or World of Warcraft. It becomes a false god to them. I've even seen a few couples break up over it because the guy got stupid and didn't realize what he had until she left. Since I can't figure out the whole girlfriend thing yet, this might not be a problem. Still it is about priorities.
TV is a little different. While there is certainly the addiction possibilities, I think the biggest reason I avoid it is the exposure to all the murder, violence and sex. There are some things I just don't want to put in my head. They stay there for a long time when I ought to be thinking of better things. Besides, like most of us, I've already got more than I need on my memory. If I want to dig up some trash, I know I already have plenty archived. Who needs to feeding the garbage bin when you don't have to even be around it in the first place? So maybe I'll stick with the current season of Heroes and see how it goes.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Achy Breaky Muscles
So I'm recovering from a nite of country swing dancing. And I think I did pretty good for a dumpy white guy. Now that I think about it, that describes all the guys there.
Scary thing is, I realized how much I feel like George McFly* when I'm mixing it up. Mostly that was because of just awkward dancing style. But then I realized it was I am just content to dance in the corner instead of subjecting the ladies to my horrible swing moves.
You're George McFly!
Take the Which Person from Back to the Future Are You? Quiz
Also try my other quizzes.
But like George, I'm getting better. I actually was able to practice some moves with a beautiful young lady. Which was appropriate I suppose, because she had asked me to go in the first place.
*Wow, that review of me is a bit harsh. Loser? Not always. And maybe I'll get to do the rest of those things too.
So I'm recovering from a nite of country swing dancing. And I think I did pretty good for a dumpy white guy. Now that I think about it, that describes all the guys there.
Scary thing is, I realized how much I feel like George McFly* when I'm mixing it up. Mostly that was because of just awkward dancing style. But then I realized it was I am just content to dance in the corner instead of subjecting the ladies to my horrible swing moves.
You're George McFly!
Take the Which Person from Back to the Future Are You? Quiz
Also try my other quizzes.
But like George, I'm getting better. I actually was able to practice some moves with a beautiful young lady. Which was appropriate I suppose, because she had asked me to go in the first place.
*Wow, that review of me is a bit harsh. Loser? Not always. And maybe I'll get to do the rest of those things too.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Bad Puns
Are there are any bad puns? Likely. But I never mind them. And I never nevermind them. So here are some of my favorites:
An igloo is an icicle built for two.
Tequila is the gulp of Mexico.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
The archeologist's career was in ruins.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
Mental floss will prevent truth decay as part of your moral hygiene.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
Bad customer service will take the wind out of your sales.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
We removed the insulating asbestos we could.
Atheism is none of the above.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Holy cow or divine bovine?
A backward poet writes inverse.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
An alarm clock is designed to scare the daylights into you.
A plea bargain is using a proposition to end a sentence with.
Alimony is the high cost of leaving.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
If there is one thing you can count on, it's your fingers.
On the other hand, you have more fingers.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
Punch, hit, kick, gouge. Where I come from, those are fighting words.
The chicken that crossed the road was poultry on motion.
The chicken that only got half way there laid it on the line.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
One day the sultan paid a visit to his harem's tent and let out a terrified sheik.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
Do you remember the name of the famous hunchback? Does Quasimodo ring a bell?
Are there are any bad puns? Likely. But I never mind them. And I never nevermind them. So here are some of my favorites:
An igloo is an icicle built for two.
Tequila is the gulp of Mexico.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
The archeologist's career was in ruins.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
Mental floss will prevent truth decay as part of your moral hygiene.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
Bad customer service will take the wind out of your sales.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
We removed the insulating asbestos we could.
Atheism is none of the above.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Holy cow or divine bovine?
A backward poet writes inverse.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
An alarm clock is designed to scare the daylights into you.
A plea bargain is using a proposition to end a sentence with.
Alimony is the high cost of leaving.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
If there is one thing you can count on, it's your fingers.
On the other hand, you have more fingers.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
Punch, hit, kick, gouge. Where I come from, those are fighting words.
The chicken that crossed the road was poultry on motion.
The chicken that only got half way there laid it on the line.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
One day the sultan paid a visit to his harem's tent and let out a terrified sheik.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
Do you remember the name of the famous hunchback? Does Quasimodo ring a bell?
Sunday, March 25, 2007
"Saint Anthony of Padua's Sermon to the Fishes"
by Michael Nibley
When Anthony preaches
He goes to the beaches
Converting the fish, who can't make it to church.
They swarm up to listen
A-drip and a-glisten,
The trout and the minnow, the pike and the perch.
"Treat all as your brother;
Don't murder each other,
For all of God's creatures are children alike."
What a marvelous spirit!
The minnows all cheer it;
They whisper and glare at the murderous pike.
"The root of all evil,
Great tool of the devil,
Is love of possessions; you'd best do without."
What a marvelous spirit!
The pike love to hear it;
They cast a stern eye on the miserly trout.
"Work hard! Those who idle
Will bear harsh requital;
Who shirks at his labor gets left in the lurch."
What a marvelous spirit!
The trout just revere it;
They nudge one another and mutter, "Those perch!"
"Eschew fornications
And lawless relations,
For sex unrestrained leads to sorrow and tears."
What a mervelous spirit!
The perch love to hear it;
They glance at the minnows with snickers and sneers.
The saint ends his preaching;
The fish love such teaching!
They watch as his figure recedes from the shore.
Then greed, lust and slaughter
Resume in the water,
And all is exactly the same as before.
by Michael Nibley
When Anthony preaches
He goes to the beaches
Converting the fish, who can't make it to church.
They swarm up to listen
A-drip and a-glisten,
The trout and the minnow, the pike and the perch.
"Treat all as your brother;
Don't murder each other,
For all of God's creatures are children alike."
What a marvelous spirit!
The minnows all cheer it;
They whisper and glare at the murderous pike.
"The root of all evil,
Great tool of the devil,
Is love of possessions; you'd best do without."
What a marvelous spirit!
The pike love to hear it;
They cast a stern eye on the miserly trout.
"Work hard! Those who idle
Will bear harsh requital;
Who shirks at his labor gets left in the lurch."
What a marvelous spirit!
The trout just revere it;
They nudge one another and mutter, "Those perch!"
"Eschew fornications
And lawless relations,
For sex unrestrained leads to sorrow and tears."
What a mervelous spirit!
The perch love to hear it;
They glance at the minnows with snickers and sneers.
The saint ends his preaching;
The fish love such teaching!
They watch as his figure recedes from the shore.
Then greed, lust and slaughter
Resume in the water,
And all is exactly the same as before.
Friday, March 16, 2007
So it turns out that in Japan, roosters are always crowing "ko-ke-kok-ko-o".
Feel like talking turkey with a turkey in Turkey? Say "glu glu"!
And who could forget the gentle "croa croa" of the frogs in France.
Now, I've never heard a dog bark anything that sounds like "bow-wow". But thanks to this animal sound guide, you don't have to settle for the stale old otomotopia's you are used to.
Click here!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Self-deprecation
In my seemingly futile attempt at self improvement, I've come to realize that I've got to stop putting my self down, even if I think it is under the guise of a good joke.
My old self used to write stuff like this:
Bullets for Breakfast
Sugar coated goodness
with a bitter aftertaste.
Big, heaping, self-depreciating
spoonfuls are shoveled down
to fill an empty soul.
An important part of
my unbalanced psyche,
these tasty jabs
give me the energy I need
to sludge through yet
another mediocre day.
Can I just say I am sick of being that guy? So the new goal is to find the fine line where I know I'm awesome but I don't always have to tell everybody about it. Wish me luck!
In my seemingly futile attempt at self improvement, I've come to realize that I've got to stop putting my self down, even if I think it is under the guise of a good joke.
My old self used to write stuff like this:
Bullets for Breakfast
Sugar coated goodness
with a bitter aftertaste.
Big, heaping, self-depreciating
spoonfuls are shoveled down
to fill an empty soul.
An important part of
my unbalanced psyche,
these tasty jabs
give me the energy I need
to sludge through yet
another mediocre day.
Can I just say I am sick of being that guy? So the new goal is to find the fine line where I know I'm awesome but I don't always have to tell everybody about it. Wish me luck!
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