"Saint Anthony of Padua's Sermon to the Fishes"
by Michael Nibley

When Anthony preaches
He goes to the beaches
Converting the fish, who can't make it to church.
They swarm up to listen
A-drip and a-glisten,
The trout and the minnow, the pike and the perch.

"Treat all as your brother;
Don't murder each other,
For all of God's creatures are children alike."
What a marvelous spirit!
The minnows all cheer it;
They whisper and glare at the murderous pike.

"The root of all evil,
Great tool of the devil,
Is love of possessions; you'd best do without."
What a marvelous spirit!
The pike love to hear it;
They cast a stern eye on the miserly trout.

"Work hard! Those who idle
Will bear harsh requital;
Who shirks at his labor gets left in the lurch."
What a marvelous spirit!
The trout just revere it;
They nudge one another and mutter, "Those perch!"

"Eschew fornications
And lawless relations,
For sex unrestrained leads to sorrow and tears."
What a mervelous spirit!
The perch love to hear it;
They glance at the minnows with snickers and sneers.

The saint ends his preaching;
The fish love such teaching!
They watch as his figure recedes from the shore.
Then greed, lust and slaughter
Resume in the water,
And all is exactly the same as before.