FYI...

I am starting a new blog profiling some of my favorite people who are dead and buried in the Salt Lake City Cemetery. Ever since I have moved near it, I have been fascinated by it. So why not take all my researches and put them to good use.

http://slccemeterynotables.blogspot.com/

There isn't much there now, but I have well over one hundred folkes I am planning on profiling.

Yeah, this is why I like autumn.

So as I wrapped up my Kmart employment, I picked up a digital camera there for about 70% off. Clearance + Employee discount = awesome. I am planning on using the camera for my new blog, but the dang thing doesn't work unless I replace the batteries daily. It could become an expensive blog. Geh!

Hebrew National

So for dinner tonight, I thought instead of the usual pasta, I need a few old fashioned hot dogs. I got to the store and picked up a pack of Hebrew National kosher dogs. Holy crap! They were delicious.

But..

for some reason, there are seven of them in the pack. Seven. As a wannabee stand-up comedian, I know there there is nothing funny about the ratio of hot dogs in a package (usually 10) to buns (usually 8 per pack). But seven? Seriously?

And because I respect you all as an audience, I will also never make up a joke about "Fun-Sized" candy bars. Just not funny.

And I will hang my head low...

Today would have been the first anniversary of my marriage had it lasted that long. I was thinking for a long time about what I wanted to report about it all. I have come to the conclusion that it really isn't anyone's damn business. If you want the straight story, talk to me in person. I am not going to put it online for the world to see.

It hasn't been easy these last few months, but I am getting better. I understand what I have done wrong, what I could have done better and what things I had no power over. I am sad things ended up they way they did, but I don't regret the decisions we made. We had to stop hurting each other.

I have been berating myself all morning. I listened to The Decemberists "The Crane Wife" and Sheryl Crow's "Perfect Lie" to put into words some of the things I feel I have done wrong. And now I am done.

Homer Simpson once advised Marge, saying, "Marge, you can't blame yourself forever. Blame yourself once and get on with things". So I acknowledge that I have done some if not many things wrong, but I am done blaming myself. I am getting on with things.

I am having a bit of a struggle on what to write about my recent divorce. Do I even say anything at all? Of course I do. I just don't know what yet.

Soon..

I need a quick break from the manuscripts I am reading, so I thought I'd share a comic from my archives.

Bible Stories
There are 34 books of the bible in this story. Can you find them? This is a most remarkable puzzle.
It was found by a gentleman who was singing songs like “Hey Jude” on a flight from his Suez ranch to Honolulu, keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much, that he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing on his john boat. Another friend studied while playing his banjo. Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, who was intrigued by it she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend judges the job of solving puzzles found this puzzle so involving, she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. That’s a fact. Some people however will find themselves in a jam, especially since the book names are not easily capitalized. Truthfully, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or a scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phi lemonade booth set a new record. The local paper, The Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As Formica hardwood laminate salesman Daniel Humana humbly puts it, “The books are right there in plain view hidden from sight.” Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the middle are normal. A chipper attitude would help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad exodus; there really are 34 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this story waiting to be found.

I found this on my pal Karen's blog. Of course, I modified it to include a bit more than the original 30. Would you expect any less from me? If you need a hint, go here.

Word of the Day: Bloated



Why, cheese fries, why? We used to be so close, but now...
Why all the hate?

In one of those yin-yang things, my brother and sister-in-law (Matt and Stephanie respectively) just had their second child. A feisty little boy named Miles. To make the situation fun, Miles wanted out early (a month early more precisely) while his dad is out at Air Force training until September. So things might be fun for those guys for a while. I'll help out where I can.

So congratulations to Matt, Stephanie, Zoe and Miles. I love all those kids.

So my pal Adywan is putting together a new "Special Edition" of the Star Wars Trilogy. He is doing a ton of work to fix the things that George and ILM either botched or didn't fix in the first place. Check it out!

Hey, guess who's back in school? Well, yeah. That's right. It's me. But I'm pretty jazzed about it all the same. Speaking of the Jazz, I'm getting pretty pumped to see 'em play San Antonio in a few weeks. Um... Sorry. This isn't a real post. I'll do better soon.

-Mark

Boomshine

I've been playing a fun little game on my lunch breaks called Boomshine. You have to plan a small explosion in the middle of a pastel bubble minefield and plan it so it starts a chain reaction to pop more. Its pretty cool.


Play Games at AddictingGames

Scary Mary

How long has it been since I posted a video on here? A week? Well, that's WAY too long. Check out this trailer for an old supernatural thriller!

Survive the joke and get a free lunch!

Well, let's try something different. I had this stoopid joke about Egyptian stuffs, so I thought instead of just telling it, I'd offer a free lunch to the first person who can read it. Just tell me the name of my girlfriend in the joke.

I'm done with all my FHE activities. Time for Heroes. Man, I love that show.

As I was looking at graphics for my earlier Hypocrite post, I was surprised how popular the eclipse motif is lately. Check it out!

















And while we are on the subject, check out this cool pic of a solar eclipse:

Thought of the day:
Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought. -Basho, 17th century Japanese poet

Old Money.

We all know that there are two kinds of millionaires, those of 'old money' and those who are 'new money'. And then there is me. I have old money. I was getting fuel at the gas station and as part of my change, I get this thing:










For some reason, this 1935 dollar bill had worked its way back into circulation and was waiting for me at the local Circle K. Then it got me wondering about all the stuff it would have seen. Was it used to by gasoline for some body's old Oldsmobile back in the 30's? Was it stashed away during a shortage of WWII? Did somebody find it in the attic in the 80's? Maybe it was a bookmark? It could have been any number of a thousand places.

I wonder if people are like this goofy, ragged bill? They may not look like much or look like they are worth much, but once you know their stories and histories, they become priceless.

Or maybe they are sometimes named Bill.





*Is it legal to scan old bills? If so, I'll take it down.

Okay, stop me if you've heard this one...

So this outspoken Atheist is hiking through the forest, admiring all the beauty that Mother Nature had evolved all around him. As he was hiking, he happened between a mother grizzly bear and her cubs. The protective mother instantly stood and roared at the hiker. Not wanting to shuffle off this mortal coil to wherever atheists go, the man took off running down the trail with the bear in hot pursuit. Realizing that he wasn't likely to evolve into something that ran faster, the atheist decided to hedge his bets and began to pray. Soon the bear had him knocked to the ground and had reared up on his hind legs, ready to deliver the lethal strike.
Suddenly, everything was frozen in place and the man found himself in God's presence. The atheist quickly asked God for deliverance from his problem.
"Well, this is certainly a convenient time for you to be a believer", was God's reply.
"I guess you are right," the atheist thought, "And I'm not really sure I believe in you any way."
God responded, "Since we are talking, are you sure that there isn't anything I can do for you? The bear is still there..."
The man thought about it for a minute and realized what he believed to be a rather clever solution.
"Perhaps then you could make the bear a Christian? I've known a lot of Christians and they have always talked about mercy and all that other religious junk."
God scratched his chin through his beard.
"All of my creations believe in me, but sure, I'll make the bear a devout Christian."
The brightness of God's presence began to fade and the man found himself again at the feet of the bear. The bear looked down at the man and helped him to his feet. The man breathed a sigh of relief. The bear looked lovingly at the man and pulled him in for a warm embrace. Holding the man, the bear spoke in a tender voice.
"Dear Lord, please bless this meal which my family is about to eat..."