The Penultimate Action Hero

A few years ago, I played the role of the Action Hero. I was coming out of the local Wal-mart (this was before the boycott) when the glint of shining metal caught my eye. I glanced over and noticed an errant shopping cart slowly rolling down the parking lot. Some hundred yards down the lot was a crowded Zuka Juice with a shiny BMW 335i or some type of fancy automobile parked in front. It appeared the cart had picked up momentum and had drawn a bead on its target. I pulled out my keys and ran to my 1992 Daihatsu Charade, parked just a few yards away. I jumped in the drivers-side window, feet first (I had been practicing for a stunt for the upcoming Big Show – more on that later!) and tore out of the parking spot with a squeal of very small tires. I whipped around a small group of cars in the lot and found some open space. It was just a few seconds before I was along side the cart. I grabbed it from the open window and held it as I steered it out of the way. A hard left ensured that the cart (and the equally-sized Daihatsu) didn’t end up plastered on the back of some German sedan. The cart traveled the last 20 or so yards and hit a curb and flipped over. At the impact, the roar of laughter and applause burst from the crowd at Zuka Juice. I did a victory lap and I was on my way home.

There is just something about heroes on TV and in the movies that makes us (I refer to guys here) want to emulate them. And sometimes, often in very small ways, we get to. It is funny how just a bit of play-time gets one through a month or two of 9-5 work and school with a smile on one’s face.